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Schizophrenia? Really?

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  • SchizophreniaReally
  • January 02, 2017 04:45:09 AM
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The diary of an alleged schizophrenic. I do not have schizophrenia, but others claim I do.

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A people-intensive enterprise: Criminal intimidation and psychological warfare

I have been describing a lot of different ways and means in earlier blog posts in which the enemy acts against me. However, here I want to emphasise on the people-intensive aspect of the enemy’s enterprise. Whenever I move to a new neighbourhood, the enemy enslaves a number of my neighbours, presumably using greed and/or… Continue reading A people-intensive enterprise: Criminal intimidation and...

I have been describing a lot of different ways and means in earlier blog posts in which the enemy acts against me. However, here I want to emphasise on the people-intensive aspect of the enemy’s enterprise.

Whenever I move to a new neighbourhood, the enemy enslaves a number of my neighbours, presumably using greed and/or fear, and makes them indulge in ‘standardised’ and ‘non-standardised’ commenting (described in earlier blog posts) against me, besides delivering threats from time to time. Similarly, whenever I join a new job, the enemy enslaves many of my colleagues and makes them do the same thing, i.e., make standardised and non-standardised comments and deliver threats. Obviously, the enemy provides these neighbours/colleagues with access to the technology used to read my thoughts to enable them to make comments. The enemy also employs pedestrians and two-wheeler riders on the street outside my house/workplace to deliver standardised/non-standardised comments and threats.

When I commute to and from work and walk on the streets, the enemy employs pedestrians and two-wheeler riders to deliver standardised/non-standardised comments and threats, besides four-wheeler drivers who drive their vehicles in a threatening manner to try to scare me. Of late, they have also been using men to brush roughly past me as I walk or to try and stare me down.

When I am on public transport, such as the Delhi Metro, the enemy sends along some of their slaves as my co-passengers to deliver standardised/non-standardised comments and threats.

When I go out for purposes other than work, such as to a shopping centre, restaurant, or place of worship (Gurdwara), the enemy’s slaves are present to deliver standardised/non-standardised comments and threats. Of course, they are there on the way as well in the form of pedestrians, two-wheeler riders and four-wheeler drivers who act in the manner described above.

When I go out of town, the enemy’s slaves accompany me as co-passengers on the bus, train, or aeroplane and deliver standardised/non-standardised comments and threats. They are, once again, there on the road (acting as described above) as well as when I visit a commercial enterprise (shopping centre/restaurant), government office, place of worship, a court of law or a tourist attraction, delivering comments and/or threats. If I stay in a hotel, they are there as fellow guests of the hotel and members of the hotel staff and deliver standardised/non-standardised comments and threats.

When I ride my motorbike on the road, the enemy’s slaves are there as fellow riders/drivers as well as pedestrians and try to intimidate me or create a distraction to draw me into making a mistake and hurting myself. I have been into road accidents as a result, although I have escaped with minor injuries. A couple of times, I have been hit from behind and suffered minor injuries without making any mistakes.

So, in short, wherever I am and whatever I am doing, I am always surrounded by the enemy’s slaves.

Besides the above kinds of people that the enemy has enslaved to engage in criminal intimidation/psychological warfare against me, there are those whom the enemy uses to indulge in cyber warfare (such as hacking of my phone/computer) and sabotage (such as sabotaging my motorcycle). I have also been poisoned a few times (in restaurants/juice bars/soft drink shops) by the enemy’s slaves. Then, there are employees of internet service providers, mobile phone service providers, insurance companies, etc., whom the enemy uses to harass me through deficient service provision.

As I have written about earlier, the enemy has enslaved many in close relationships with me for years (some since my childhood), probably using fear and/or greed. The enemy uses them to try to intimidate me and make me feel isolated by having them use specific words/phrases while talking to me. They have also been used to give me ‘advice’ (examples provided in the previous blog post) which would have brought me grave physical or financial harm if I had followed it.

The enemy also claims to have employed doctors/nurses/staff members at the hospital where my mother was admitted for the last time to murder my mother through deliberate medical negligence.

Therefore, the massive criminal enterprise I am faced with, which I have come to call war for some time now since it’s basically ‘me vs them’, is run using many ‘common people’ with no criminal records. They are merely a front while the real enemy remains hidden, using these puppets to run the whole thing. I wonder whether honest law enforcement officers could catch hold of them and interrogate them skilfully to reach the next level of the enemy’s organisation. Unfortunately, there don’t seem to be many honest law enforcement officers around anymore, which is what the enemy thrives on.

P.S.: The enemy also employs some people, possibly from among my neighbours, to enter the house when no one is home. They get duplicate keys made for the main door’s lock to let themselves in. They convey whatever they see inside the house to the enemy’s slaves around me, wherever I am after leaving home. The information is then read aloud to me to try and cause me emotional distress. When I was living alone in a South Indian city a few years ago, a few of my colleagues, besides pedestrians or bicycle riders on the streets, used to convey whatever their people could find on the personal laptop I had left behind in my rented apartment, while I was at the office or commuting to and from office. Sometimes those who break into the house as described here also resort to mischief, such as tinkering with appliances like the refrigerator or television, causing the appliances to malfunction. They also blunted the tactical knives I had left behind at home a couple of times.


Advice meant to do me more harm than good

As I had written in a previous blog post, the enemy has managed to influence a significant number of those in supposedly close relationships with me to cross over to their side. Those who have sold their souls to the devil in this manner include many whom I have known for several years. I had… Continue reading Advice meant to do me more harm...

As I had written in a previous blog post, the enemy has managed to influence a significant number of those in supposedly close relationships with me to cross over to their side. Those who have sold their souls to the devil in this manner include many whom I have known for several years. I had known some of them since childhood, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, which was much before the enemy/enemies entered my life. I suppose the enemy used fear, greed, or a combination of both to enslave those people.

The enemy has been using these people against me in several ways. One of the ways has been to give these people words/phrases/sentences to use in their conversations with me to make it clear to me that they are with the enemy and, therefore, to try to make me feel isolated and intimidated. The aim, perhaps, is to isolate and intimidate me sufficiently to make me think and act as the enemy wants me to. Another way is to make these people try and lead me to do things I would not do otherwise, like in the example I have provided in the blog post linked to in the first sentence of this post. However, the enemy has also used these people to advise me, which could have led to grave financial and bodily harm if I had followed the advice. I am going to give you a few instances below.

  1. I was living alone in a city in South India, and the enemy was using several means to make me submit, many of which I have written about in previous blog posts, including repeatedly threatening to abduct and/or kill me. I had acquired a few weapons to defend myself, if and when needed, including tactical knives. Someone I had known since the day I was born advised me strongly to sell all my weapons to a junk/scrap dealer. Fortunately, I knew better than to follow the advice and did not sell my weapons. I know where the advice originated because, while I would be walking around, random two-wheeler riders passing by would shout, “Paape, chaaku bech!” (Paape (a pejorative term for a Sikh), sell your knives!).
  2. While I was still in that South Indian city and being threatened with dire financial and physical consequences if I did not immediately leave the country, I started posting on social media about each threat. I suppose the enemy found that to be an impediment in their plans, for I soon heard about it from someone supposedly very close to me. That person tried to tell me that I should behave more ‘fearlessly’ and stop posting on social media about the threats. Once again, I decided to ignore the advice.
  3. A few years later, I was trying to get a flat/apartment owned by my father vacated. The tenant ignored all requests to go and had not been paying rent for many years. There was a real possibility that the tenant would never leave and illegally occupy the house forever. Again, someone supposedly very close to me suggested a lawyer who could help take legal action and get the house vacated. However, the lawyer proved to be unscrupulous and never filed a case in a court. He lied to me repeatedly about having done so and made lame excuses when confronted with reality. So, I decided to let go of him and hire another lawyer. That was not before the person who had recommended the dishonest lawyer to me strongly advised me to retain him though. I am glad I did not listen to him.
  4. After I had hired another lawyer and the house was close to being vacated on account of a court order in our favour, another person whom I had previously considered very close to myself tried to make me agree to sell the flat off cheaply to someone who would get it vacated on his own. As in the previous instances, I did not take the advice.
  5. A few months ago, a builder informed me that our family would forfeit a flat because we had failed to make all payments despite repeated reminders. I happened to mention that in passing to someone who was, once again, supposedly very close to me. The following day he called me up to advise me that we should immediately sell another property, regardless of profit or loss, to save the flat. He also advised me to take a loan if required. I am yet to do anything about it.

So, dear reader, if you face circumstances similar to mine, just remember to trust your judgement and accept or reject advice, even from those supposed to be your closest friends/relatives, based only on that.


Writing about Psychological Warfare and Criminal Intimidation

By the time I die, I will probably be an expert on psychological warfare and crime based on psychological warfare committed using technologies hitherto unknown to most of humanity. I have learnt how to be resilient in the face of such a crime based solely on my own experience and without help. I am gradually… Continue reading Writing about Psychological Warfare and...

By the time I die, I will probably be an expert on psychological warfare and crime based on psychological warfare committed using technologies hitherto unknown to most of humanity. I have learnt how to be resilient in the face of such a crime based solely on my own experience and without help. I am gradually building up a body of knowledge by closely studying the tactics and strategies employed by my enemies, which could prove immensely useful to someone in a similar situation.

I wonder whether I will someday be able to compile all my knowledge and experience, perhaps as a book, to help victims and crime fighters. Fighting the war against such crime and making a living alongside it is a task in itself and leaves little time for such literary pursuits, unfortunately. Another impediment is that it is all dismissed as a mental illness I am suffering from by most people, either because it is the most convenient thing to do or because they are under the enemy’s influence.


Beating psychological warfare and intimidation

As you could find out by reading the previous posts on this blog, I have been facing, for the past 10-11 years, attempts to drive me out of my home country, i.e., India, because of a criminal complaint I filed against certain people. These attempts began primarily with criminal intimidation in the form of death… Continue reading Beating psychological warfare...

As you could find out by reading the previous posts on this blog, I have been facing, for the past 10-11 years, attempts to drive me out of my home country, i.e., India, because of a criminal complaint I filed against certain people. These attempts began primarily with criminal intimidation in the form of death threats but slowly evolved into several other tactics, many of which I think can be best described as psychological warfare.

Out of the many tactics that have been used against me, I want to discuss a few here, which I have discovered, through experience, can be countered with a substantial degree of success over time. I want to write about what I have found out, especially for the benefit of those who might find themselves in a similar situation to mine. I know it can be an extremely lonely battle, mainly because the criminals operate in such a manner that there is almost no tangible proof of their crimes. Or, even if evidence can be found, the high levels of corruption in the law enforcement machinery in countries like India make prosecution difficult. It also does not help that these criminals get many of those in close relationships with you to join their ranks using either fear or greed or both as tools.

Anyway, the main tactics I want to discuss here, although, as I mentioned above, many others have been employed against me, are what I have termed ‘echo/thought repetition’, ‘standardised commenting’ and ‘non-standardised commenting’. Although the casual reader would obviously find it impossible, or, at least, extremely difficult to believe, the criminals I am up against have access to technology that allows them to read my thoughts. Since that technology is highly unlikely to have been developed in India, I suppose criminals like the ones I have been facing have access to it in other countries as well. Also, since they use the technology and related psychological warfare tactics so methodically, I am quite sure there are many other victims like me. So, it is for those victims that I am writing this specifically to let them know that they are not the only ones facing this sh*t and to let them benefit from what I have learnt over the years.

As I have described in a previous post, ‘standardised commenting’ is when you are bombarded with the same comments, such as “Dar gaya!” and “Phat gayi!” (both of which can be roughly translated as “He/she is scared!”), repeatedly, ostensibly to interrupt your chain of thought. ‘Non-standardised commenting’ is when they reply to what you are thinking or comment on what you are thinking about without you having spoken a single word. I personally believe that the purpose of ‘standardised commenting’ is to brain wash you and to make you actually start believing the lies being fed to your brain through the ‘standardised’ comments. The theory behind it is that if your are told a lie repeatedly sufficient number of times, you will start believing it. ‘Non-standardised commenting’ is apparently aimed at causing extreme distress as a normal human being is not used to having his/her thoughts read and replied to or commented upon. Similarly, ‘echo/thought repetition’ involves the criminals reading your thoughts aloud to you, verbatim, either entirely or partly. The purpose, once again, is to cause extreme mental distress as no human is used to having his/her thoughts read out loud to him/her.

The assumption, apparently, is that the criminals will be able to make you submit to them once you start believing that what is being fed to you through ‘standardised commenting’ is actually the truth. Secondly, they aim to cause you so much mental distress through ‘non-standardised commenting’ and ‘echo/thought repetition’ that you will give in to their demands.

Now, I have never given in to their demands. However, what happened was that I would develop symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), which, in my case, mainly comprised unwanted thoughts popping up in my mind repeatedly and, obviously, causing me distress. However, I used to feel better after taking, orally, a medicine sold under the brand names Prodep and Pronil in India. I used to take a 10 mg capsule every morning. The main side effect I experienced after taking the medicine was an upset stomach.

However, of late, I have discovered that my responses to ‘echo/thought repetition’, ‘standardised commenting’ and ‘non-standardised commenting’ by the criminals have been improving. When they make those comments or read my thoughts aloud, I am able to recognise them as the tactics that they are and either choose to ignore them or respond in a calmer way. I think the reason behind this is that I have been gradually succeeding in training my mind to recognise the psychological warfare tactics for what they are and responding appropriately rather than the natural or reflex response that these tactics used to elicit earlier. I set out to do this years earlier, but although my conscious mind recognised that this was what I needed to do, it took a long while to train my sub-conscious mind to respond better. I continue to work on this, obviously, by continuing to face the mental abuse that I am being exposed to, and I hope to improve even further as time goes by.

An analogy you can use to understand is that what I have been doing is somewhat similar to weight training. During weight training, you lift progressively heavier weights or perform more repetitions using the same weights. That damages your muscles slightly, but the muscles repair themselves and become stronger than before. Similarly, the mental abuse I continue to face initially caused damage to my brain, manifested in the form of OCD symptoms. However, with time, it seems like my brain has been strengthening itself, just like muscles do during weight training.

As a wise man once said, “karat-karat abhyaas ke, jaRmati hot sujaan.” (Practicing something over and over again can turn a fool into a wise man or, simply, practice makes a man perfect!)

So, if you, like me, are a victim of such criminal intimidation or psychological warfare tactics, whichever way you prefer to describe them, don’t lose hope and keep doing what is right, regardless of everything else.

May God be with you!

Update: As stated above, I have been improving, but there always is room for further improvement. I responded a lot better than before during the latest iteration but ultimately began to develop OCD symptoms and had to take Prodep (10 mg) capsules. I hope to keep working on my responses and respond even better during subsequent iterations and, ultimately, reach the goal of dealing with psychological warfare without the help of any medicine.


A snake or a rope?

Let me tell you a little story today. I must confess that I have not written it myself, but have picked it up from a television drama that I watched last night. However, I shall explain, later on, why I found it interesting enough to share with you. In the story, there was a little… Continue reading A snake or...

Let me tell you a little story today. I must confess that I have not written it myself, but have picked it up from a television drama that I watched last night. However, I shall explain, later on, why I found it interesting enough to share with you.

In the story, there was a little girl, who lived in a remote village in the Indian hinterland, along with her father and evil stepmother. Now, the evil stepmother, as all evil stepmothers do, absolutely detested the little girl and wanted the father to turn the girl out of the house, or, at least, send her away somewhere. So, she hatched an evil plan and decided to prove that the girl was crazy.

One day, the stepmother caught a king cobra, which had appeared near the family’s house, by throwing a thick blanket over it and then picking it up before the snake could react. She then proceeded to place the cobra in a chest/trunk in which the girl used to store her clothes. Afterwards, she went to the girl and asked her to fetch something from the chest/trunk. As soon as the girl opened the trunk, she was beside herself with fear. She ran out of the house, crying out aloud, “Snake! Snake!”.

As soon as the girl was away, the stepmother used the blanket, once again, to quickly remove the snake from the trunk. She threw the reptile out of a nearby window and replaced it with a rope within a moment or two. She then called out to the girl and her father to come and see that it was a rope that the girl had mistaken for a snake.

Thereafter, the stepmother used a series of such tricks to mentally torture the girl and to prove to the father, and many others in the village, that the girl had indeed gone crazy. The tricks were all so cleverly executed that the poor girl was always unable to prove what had actually happened.

The story went through various twists and turns thereafter, but the part of it narrated above was the one I found to be of the greatest interest. For those of you familiar with the path my life has taken over the past 10 years or so, whether on account of knowing me personally or through my writings, the reasons should not be far to seek.

‘The enemy’ (a term I use to describe those who seek to torment/intimidate me sufficiently to leave India) use similarly clever tricks, and just like the girl in the story, I am unable to prove what actually happens. Analogous to happenings in the story, many perfectly normal people, including many of my friends and family, have come to believe that a perfectly sane person, like me, is in fact insane.

I did try, in the initial stages, to gather proof. I made several sound recordings, some of which I shared with the police as well. Unlike some of the later recordings I made, on which it could be established by forensic experts that there were human voices but not what was being said, the recordings I shared with the police were, I believe, clear enough, although a bit long (5-6 hours each). I am not sure whether the police even bothered to listen to the long recordings, because they never got back to me on the subject.

Not having received much help from any quarters in this respect, I have not really been able to think of many ways to collect proof thereafter and my efforts have mainly been aimed at extricating myself from the various ‘situations’ that ‘they’ make me face. For example, when my motorcycle’s clutch adjustment was being tampered with almost every night, I simply bought a spanner to be able to set it right every morning. There was, of course, a closed-circuit (CCTV) camera in the parking space but it was misaligned every night in order to prevent the miscreants being caught in the act. Similarly, when my mobile phone was hacked, I simply had the operating system re-installed, instead of reporting the matter to the cyber crime branch of the police, having lost faith in the abilities of the police to solve any of my problems.

I do continue to write about all that I go through, however, in the hope that some day there will be some kind of a breakthrough, even if not within my lifetime, and the guilty brought to justice, or, at least, in the hope that my writings will help bring about advancements in the field of criminal investigation, so that victims of similar crimes will fare better in the years to come.


Thieves

It was about 1 a.m. in the morning and my parents were fast asleep in their room towards the rear of the house, while I lay awake in bed in mine, which had a series of large windows that opened into the front yard. I had turned out the light in my room and the… Continue reading...

It was about 1 a.m. in the morning and my parents were fast asleep in their room towards the rear of the house, while I lay awake in bed in mine, which had a series of large windows that opened into the front yard. I had turned out the light in my room and the front yard was dark as well, since we, having recently moved into the house, which we had rented only a few days earlier, were yet to install a lamp in the front yard. The street lamp on the road passing in front of the house was not working either.

I think it was an urge to go to the toilet that got me out of bed a few minutes later. However, before I could go to the wash room, I sensed something unusual in the front yard. As I moved closer to the windows, I noticed a few shadowy figures in the yard. There were 3-4 men there, who appeared to be dressed in sleeveless vests and shorts, and carrying small bags slung over their shoulders. A couple of them were squatting on the ground, doing something which I could not make out in the dark, while the others stood watching them.

When I challenged them in a loud voice, they scampered towards the low boundary wall and went over it in flying leaps. Having heard me shout, my parents came over to ask what had happened I narrated the whole incident to them. They soon went back to bed, but I was up the whole night.

The next day, a lamp was installed in the front yard and the local beat constable informed. The policeman said he would keep a closer watch, but as things would turn out later, those were mere words that were not translated into action.

Not convinced by the policeman’s promise, I decided to keep watch on my own every night and would stay up until about 4 a.m. to 5 a.m. every morning. I expected the thieves to return to attend to the business they had left unfinished, and return they did, only a few nights later.

As I sat in a chair in my darkened room that night, I noticed movement outside the main gate of the house. I could see, through the grille of the gate, a couple of men crawling across towards the house next door. As soon as I saw them, I shouted at the top of my voice, “Oye! tussiN pher aa gaye!” (Oye! You have come again!). They immediately ran away and began to scale the large gate that closed off the street to traffic every night (It was a ‘gated community’, so to say). I noticed that they, too, were dressed in sleeveless vests and shorts and carried small bags over their shoulders, like the men I had scared away earlier.

Within moments they were over the gate and ran towards the wall that surrounded the nearby Circuit House (a guest house for government officers), which they jumped over to disappear into the grounds.

What also distinguished the second incident from the first one was that in the second instance I was not the only witness. Some of the occupants of the first floor of one of the houses across the road also saw the thieves as they scaled the gate, and the lady of the house confirmed as much to my mother, when she ran into her the next day. It just so happened that the street lamp had been repaired, after I had lodged a complaint online with the municipal authorities, which helped the neighbours clearly see the thieves escaping.

Thereafter, I started keeping an even closer watch around the house, which was followed soon thereafter by attempts to intimidate me, whenever I stepped outside, and a while later, even as I was inside the house. When the intimidation attempts began to include death threats, I wrote to the police to complain, marking a copy to the chief justice of the high court of the state. The police were either unwilling or unable to solve the problem and the intimidation attempts only intensified. I wrote again, to senior police officials as well as the chief justice, but received no help. That gave rise to a saga that has continued to this day and appears likely to continue until the end of my days.


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